Laws of the Lane

  1. Show up on time. If you don’t (because life) then join the lane where they are in the workout.

  2. Unless you’re going to the Olympics and/or have a six pack like Melissa Bishop – no Speedos.

  3. Leave your excuses and nonsense at home. Everyone has nonsense – everyone has a story to tell. When you lay out your nonsense and excuses before you even get a toe in the water, you disrespect everyone you will out-swim and even those who will out-swim you.

  4. Be neither too vain or too humble in your lane placement. Ask your coach if you don’t know which lane you should be in (AND where in that lane you should be).

  5. Goggles are for holding tears. Learn to suffer.

  6. Don’t try and win the warm up. No one does. You look like a fool.

  7. Don’t head out for another lap of warm up when everyone else is standing at the wall. Your mother told you, you were special, but you’re not.

  8. Do the main set that’s on the board. Again – you’re not the coach.

  9. Leave your watch in your bag.

  10. Learn to use the pace clock. It’s math. It’s not hard.

  11. Never start a set on the yellow top.

  12. Leave 10 seconds apart unless there’s more than 6 in the lane (4 for short course).

  13. Tap the calf of the swimmer your passing to let them know what side you’re coming up on – but be damn sure you’re passing. Otherwise NEVER touch anyone’s feet.

  14. Don’t accelerate if someone’s going by you. Let them go. Next time swim faster before they overtake.

  15. If you need to bust out the toys in order to make the leave times consider swimming faster and work on rule #5 – otherwise you’re in the wrong lane.

  16. Worry about your own swim. You may think you’re a fancy coach. You’re not. Leave the coaching to the coach.

  17. Don’t stop before the wall. Why do people do this!?

  18. Learn to do Flip Turns. We know there are no flip turns in the open water but there are no walls to grab onto, lift yourself up on and push off of either.

  19. Don’t stand on the cross chatting (or day dreaming) when others are still swimming. If someone does a flip turn off your back, it’s your fault.

  20. See rule #5.